Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
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