her voice is like 435,765 daggers being simultaneously twisted into my eardrum
i'd rather just be hit by a car than answer her phone calls
OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
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