So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
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