The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize