i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
Slut skills are useful in every country.
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Randomize
