she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
Randomize
