i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
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