That's intense
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
On today's episode of "What the Shit Did I Do Last Night," drunk me deleted ALL of the text messages I've ever had. Awesome.
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
Randomize
