Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
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