I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
Randomize
