I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
My Uber driver last night was driving a taxi and tried to charge me fare.
You didn't get in your Uber because your ex was driving, that was a legitimate taxi.
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
Randomize
