I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
Less talking, more tequila
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
being pregnant is like rehab
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
Randomize
