You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
Randomize
