I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
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