Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
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