We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
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