I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
She's like a pop up book from hell.
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
Randomize
