Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
so my daughter wakes me up this morning and i feel like a vibration so im thinking she has my phone..nope my vibrator
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
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