Kareoke will never be a sober sport
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
So I'm drunk playing pool in a bar with a guy I arrested last week for a DUI...if he recognizes me, shit's gonna get real.
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
Randomize
