She said her name was "party"
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
Randomize
