that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
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