i already hear my dad disowning me
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
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