I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
i was rollin on her like bob the builder
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
You should frame my arrest warrant.
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
On my way home I saw a car that had "MOVE OVER PLZ" emblazoned across the windshield backwards, so people could see it in their rearview mirror
If I ever drive for Lyft or Uber I'm definitely gonna do that
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
Randomize
