Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
This can only be settled by a dance off.
I'm bleeding and have questions
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
Randomize