i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
Randomize
