so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
Drunk purchased a negligee, plan b, keds and Himalayan salt shot glasses.. there’s only one reasonable purchase there, and we both know it’s not the sneakers
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
Randomize
