Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
Randomize