If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
Randomize
