is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
I just sucked dick on a ferry
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
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