Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
Randomize
