does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
Princesses don't give blow jobs
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
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