I wanna bring you to show and tell
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
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