his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
Randomize
