Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
I just had a horrible epiphany. I have fucked girls younger than Star Tours
This text was so worth waking up to
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
I am available for nakedness
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
Randomize
