Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Randomize
