She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
i am craving dick and cupcakes
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
