Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
Just puked most of my soul out..
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
Randomize
