The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
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