apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
