Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
i think my mom watched the whole time
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
Randomize
