and you said cock pushups were impossible
nothing says happy birthday like half a tampon wrapped in someone else's hair on your shoulder.
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
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