I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Randomize
