I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
If I brought two seashells to Lowe's, do you think that they'd drill two holes in each shell for me? I need to be a mermaid on Saturday...
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
It's never too late to be topless.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
I just had sex on a roof
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
Randomize
