In all seriousness though I just found out the dog pissed in my bed it'd be nice to crash somewhere other than my couch while my piss soaked bedding is in the washer
I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
