we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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