Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
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