yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
Where is the baby squirrel I found last night?! I've looked all morning I can't find Morris anywhere did someone take him?? ðŸ˜ðŸ˜
Honey, I kept trying to tell you it was just a pine cone.
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
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