I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
Randomize