Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
You are a booty call, not a friend.
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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