Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
Randomize
