dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
Randomize
