oh fat girl friday strikes again...
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
Why were you staring at her like that over breakfast?
Because I was eating with a spoon to remind her that she threw up on my hand while she was MAKING me spoon with her after our drunk sex. She got it. Don't worry.
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
Randomize
