how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
Randomize
