so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
Wait. Did you let me snort wine last night cause I wanted to smell jesus's blood?
Yes. I have pictures. Your soul is mine.
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Randomize