i think my mom watched the whole time
Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
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