if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
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