i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
So, the officer that worked my wreck, I'm rockin his world tonight. He saw me high on morphine in the ER. So he knows my level of crazy. Think he'll agree to wear his gun?
So many things can go wrong tonight.
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Randomize
