Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
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