We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
