he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
Randomize
